


Splash

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Shanghai Noon (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-22
Updated: 2003-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-25 05:42:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1634561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A late night encounter in the bath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Splash

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Kass

 

 

Steam had long since dampened the rust-toned windows of the brothel's washroom. It ran in long, wet lines across the glass, and in the dawn's light, it looked like old blood. 

The sleeping man in the bathtub looked out of place and well at home all at once, and when Roy walked in with a sloshing bottle of scotch, he paused and stared. 

Chon had told him something about big baths in China, where the water was so hot it made your skin as pink as a pig's. But he hadn't said anything about sleeping in the bath. Sleeping in a bath seemed incredibly unwise, even if Chon did look oddly sort of pretty with his hair all wet. And sorta pretty in the dim light with his skin damp. Not pretty like a woman or anything, but...really pretty anyway. 

And why WAS he sleeping there? Unless... 

`Oh shit,' Roy thought. 

He staggered to the deep wooden basin and crashed to his knees next to it. 

"Chon, Chon oh shit, are you dead?" 

The Chinaman opened his eyes with no small amount of irritation, regarding the drunk cowboy through narrowed eyes. 

"You're drunk, and I was sleeping," Chon said. 

"Why were you sleeping in the tub?" 

Roy look at the water, and then swiftly looked away. The soap had long since settled and he could see straight to... 

Well straight to Chon's business. 

Chon continued to eye him, and finally replied, "there are two women in my bed." 

"Wait...lemme get this straight. There are two women in your bed and you are here why?" 

Roy sputtered slightly as Chon splashed him in the face. 

"There are two women in my bed being...very busy." 

"That's an invitation, my man," Roy replied, wiping his face as he whistled softly. 

His expression took on a look of intense, deep concentration as he tried to remember his friend's room number. He could grab another bottle of scotch, and maybe some flowers, and probably a change of clothes first, and...Chon's key too. And then he'd be set. 

Women should never have to sleep alone. 

"I know what you are thinking," Chon said, interrupting Roy's deep process of thought. "You stay out of my room!" 

"Fine," Roy pouted, tilting the deep green bottle to his lips until the last of the scotch was gone. 

He set it on the floor, watched the bottle tilt, fall, and roll across the washroom floor. 

He found this impossibly funny, and giggled. 

"You're drunk," Chon pointed out once more. 

"Yeah? If you were drunk you'd be ear deep in breasts right now. You don't have to get cross just because you're sleeping alone in a breast-less barrel of water." 

"You're drunk and you woke me up!" 

Roy sighed dramatically and started taking his clothes off, fingers catching and nearly ripping the buttons of his shirt. 

Chon stared at him. 

"What are you doing??" 

"If you're just going to sit in here and be boring," Roy replied, "I'll take a bath too." 

"No. NO." Chon started to get out of the tub, but the bathrobe was out of reach and Roy was just...sitting there getting undressed. He had no escape route. "No, no, no. The other tub is empty!" 

"That's okay," Roy replied, shrugging and tumbling right into the water, ass first. 

Water splashed out and all around them, soaking Roy's clothes on the floor as the cowboy cackled hysterically. 

Chon was strangely silent...and staring. He could feel...Roy's bare bottom...right against his lap. 

Roy laughed and laughed and laughed, and suddenly stopped laughing. 

And paled slightly. 

"Oh...shit." 

An extremely long and awkward silence ensued, and the steady, slow drip of the overflowing tub echoed through the washroom. 

Neither one of them wanted to move because movement meant friction and friction meant even more awareness of the stark reality that Chon's soft penis was nestled nicely between Roy's cold ass cheeks. 

"Maybe if you--" 

"I should probably--" 

And then another moment of silence, muscles twitching, water dripping, glass breaking somewhere in the lobby, a girl squealing in the room next door. 

And Chon's cock shifting slightly in the water...right against a place that was by definition EXTREMELY off limits to Roy O'Bannon. 

"Chon, if that...thing...grows...we're going to have a very serious problem here." 

Chon's only response was stuttering, "Wh-why did you SIT on me?" 

"I was TAKING a BATH." 

**"WELL YOU SAT ON MY LAP."**

Their voices echoed, and Roy's angry sigh caused him to shift his weight and his weight shifting caused Chon's cock to slide just a little. 

Roy yelped softly as Chon's cock touched across his extremely sensitive Off Limits Zone, and Chon gave a rather yelp-like sound as well as his groin began to fill...his cock pressing harder at Roy's flesh. 

"I'm not--" 

"You ARE!" Roy interrupted, his eyes wide. 

This was horrible. 

Chon was trying to SCREW HIM in the BATH TUB. 

And probably even WORSE than that, it felt...sorta good. 

"I am going to KILL you for this, Chon," Roy growled, shifting his weight. 

Chon just stared at Roy, completely speechless. 

Roy was threatening him and...rubbing on him. Rubbing on him and closing his eyes and...and even...blushing. 

"Roy, are you okay?" 

"Hold on a second, Chon." 

Roy reached below the surface of the tub, and much to Chon's astonishment, he started moving his hand. 

Chon could only imagine what he was doing. 

The bathroom got quiet again, and the bathwater splashed softly around them, and Roy's face screwed up in a weird way, almost like he was in paint but not quiet. His flushed cheeks got a little more flushed, and then...a little more, and all the while his butt was just rubbing up against Chon's lap. 

Chon was almost that this sort of behavior wasn't exactly customary, so he held very still, watching Roy, chalking his behavior up to the scotch, and trying to ignore just how good it felt to have the cowboy wriggling against his crotch like that. 

The minutes past, and Roy let out something like a strangled whoop, before collapsing against Chon's chest. 

Chon squirmed his mouth as the cowboy's unruly blond hair tickled his lips. 

"I'm drunk," Roy murmured very quietly. 

"Roy, what are..." 

He paused and realized that Roy was snoring. 

And he sighed and wrapped his arms around the man, deciding to just go right back to sleep in the tepid bathwater. 

 


End file.
